


Our Happy Song

by CalGabriel



Category: Zero Day (2003)
Genre: AU Where Zero Day doesn't happen, Alternate Universe, College, College AU, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Friendship, Underage Drinking, idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalGabriel/pseuds/CalGabriel
Summary: An alternate universe where Andre and Cal don't plan Zero Day.Instead, they graduate high school and they both go to college out in California.
Relationships: Andre Kriegman/Cal Gabriel
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24





	1. Graduation Day

Finally the day had come. The day that both Cal and Andre dreamed of.

Excitement was buzzing in Andre's beat up car that he has owned since sophomore year. Between the two boys, you could feel the rising anticipation about leaving this school, these people, this town.

Their caps and gowns in the backseat as they drive. Andre even lets Cal blast some Marilyn Manson song that he doesn't know through the car as they drive through the town to school this morning. They spot a few of their classmates on the drive. Their cars are littered with car chalk saying "congrats grad!" and corny shit that makes Andre's skin crawl reading. He glances over at Cal, who is singing intently in the passenger seat and swaying his body. He looks so angelic and happy for once. Hell, even Andre had to think back through all the files of information he knew about his best and only friend to find out if he has ever heard Cal sing before. He hasn't. Andre was unsure of why Cal was so happy and chipper this morning. He was particularly more 'popular' than he was. He at least had a couple more friends than him. Or maybe he was just excited to start his life away from everyone and be his own person. Does that mean away from Andre, too?

Who was Andre kidding. He even applied to the same college as Cal and filled out forms to be his dorm roommate. As much as he didn't want to be in California, home of the fake and diseased, he couldn't imagine not being around Cal. They were, as Cal's mom put it nicely, "attached at the hip".

To Andre, their friendship was strictly made over the fact they had the same interests as kids in middle school.  
To Cal, their friendship was based off the fact that he, admittedly, is a big softie and saw Andre without anyone to talk to.

Soon after meeting, they were inseparable. Cal grew isolated in his reality with Andre. He had other friends, like Rachel and Greg. Even extended friends through the two of them. He never saw him self as 'popular'. The horrible word that Andre would use to spite Cal whenever they had spats over stupid things.

_"Go hang out with ALL of your OTHER friends, Cal!"_

Suddenly, the car was being whipped into Andre's parking spot. Andre reached his slender and tanned fingers to the volume controls after he parked. He realized they were getting stares from other students standing around their cars, able to hear the music through Cal's rolled down window. Cal quit moving and stopped singing upon realizing it, too.

A group of girls were huddled around one of their cars, staring, some giggling between themselves, one pointed finger directly at Cal.

Andre looked over and watched as Cal watched the girls who were staring at him.

"Come on, Cal. We don't wanna be late." Andre said, leaning back to retrieve their caps and gowns. "Let's get this shit over with."

Andre turned off the car and they both got out quietly. A couple of snickers were heard from the group of girls as they walked past.

"You look good, Calvin," someone said from behind. Cal turned quickly to see who it was.

"Oh," he let out a half laugh/sigh of relief when he realized it was Rachel.

She was in a white dress and high heels, like the group of nasty girls they passed.

"Is that...?" She started, "Is that the same tux from prom?"

"Oh, yeah. I only got one tux. Figured I would get my moneys worth," he added.

Rachel let out a laugh and continued walking with them.

"Hey, Andre," she finally said, giving a small wave to Cal's friend on the other side of him. He didn't say anything back, just nodded that he acknowledged her existance.

Rachel rolled her eyes slightly before asking Cal what he was doing later that day after graduation.

"Oh. We are going out to eat with our parents," Cal answered honestly.

Andre cleared his throat as if to say, 'the conversation is over'.

"I'll see you out on the field, Cal. It was good to see you again, Andre."

"Yeah, you too," he lied.

"Bitch," Andre mumbled after she was out of earshot and joined some of her other friends that joined her and Cal at prom.

"Why don't you like her?" Cal asked as they turned the corner and opened the door into the school. Kids littered the hallways, dressed to the nines despite the fact they all had to wear the gown over their nice clothes. They decided to avoid all of them by walking to sit in the cafeteria. It was mostly empty, aside from a few stragglers sitting on the tables.

"I don't know, man. She doesn't like me," Andre said defensively. "She's like very other girl here. She thinks i'm weird and 'brooding' as she put it, right Cal?"

Cal sighed as they took a seat. They set their stuff on the table. It was 9:16am and all Andre could think about was getting this over as soon as possible. He didn't see graduating high school as much as a big deal as everyone did apparently. 

This morning in the Kriegman household, his mother kissed his cheek and took pictures of him in the tux she got in last month, just for this occasion. His mom made him take pictures up until he was out of the driveway, calling behind him that she would see him later. 

Meanwhile, as Andre was driving to Cal's a short 7 minutes away, Cal's mom and dad had the same idea. Andre had entered the house without knocking, (as usual), and found them him posed with his little brother and sister. A gleaming look in his eyes at that gave the hint of how nervous he was.

A call over the school intercom made Cal jump slightly in seat. In the back of Cal's mind, this was the last and only day people like Brad Huff could bully him into a cowering mess. He waited and waited for someone to hurl slurs him and Andre's way, shove them into the lockers, spit on their shirts. It hasn't happened yet, but he knows there is always time.

The principal called for the seniors to converge to the auditorium for one last practice walk through before going out onto the field for their parents and the world to see.

Finally, the time had come for Cal and Andre to be separated to get into alphabetical order with the other students. They were only a couple rows apart, but for Cal it felt like 2000 miles. 

One by one, the principal called names down the row and gave a handshake, then handed them air instead of their diplomas.

Cal was next and he looked out to the sea of his peers, eyes were on him.

"Calvin Gabriel," the principal boomed through the auditorium. Cal began taking his steps, staring intently at his feet until he reached the man. He shook his hand and faked like he got his diploma.

A wolf whistle could be heard, followed by some snickering. Cal squeezed his eyes shut as the principal started to yell at the crowd of teenagers. Quickly, Cal made it back to his seat and sank deeply into it. 

Fuck!

This is exactly what Cal was waiting for. At least they didn't call out the ugly slur to him they had used before numerous times.

_"Aw, look. It's Kriegman and his lil faggot girlfriend!"_

Cal watched and hated the moment Andre's name was called. He strode noticeably faster than Cal probably did. Cal waited for what felt like 20 minutes for someone to yell out something degrading about Andre. But it never happened. 

After rehearsal was over, they were told to put on their caps and gowns, stay in the same order and follow the line of teachers through the school and out of the back doors.

Andre walked in silent rage over the fact someone dared to whistle to Cal. His hands were in fists, but this was no time for him to put his rage on display. He wants to walk across the stage, walk back to his car and go home. He wonders how Cal is feeling ahead of him.

During their sophomore year, Cal had fell into his deep depressive episode that Andre had never seen before. He wasn't even the same Cal that Andre was friends with during this three month period. He was a hole of a young man. A shell. He was never out of bed whenever Andre came over. He tried to coax him with video games and junk food, but nothing worked. He walked like a zombie through school after missing 10 straight days when his mother made him get out of his room and back to school. He barely talked or ate a thing. Andre was so worried about his best friend, even though he would never admit it, he cried about it to his own mother one night.

Cal was following the person in front of him absentmindedly. Fuck whoever whistled at him. After today, he would never see these people again. What's the use of letting it get to him now?

Once on the field, the band played the dumb graduation song behind the stage and both Cal and Andre peered out to the massive crowd, looking for their parents on the bleachers.

They took their seats and Cal bounced his knee. This was it? This was what he waited 13 years of his pathetic life for? Now he slowly understand Andre's point about this whole event not being as big as it is made out to be by family, other friends, teachers and the outside world.

One by one, people walked across the stage, receiving a "dumb piece of paper that is meaningless", (as Andre called it).

Finally, it was Cal's turn again. The principal called his name and he tried to stroll confidently across the stage to seem proud for his family. He could hear them screaming his name within the crowd, even his dumb little brother Eric calling his name out. He took his seat and tried to fins his family as other students were being called. 

He spotted them after figuring out where the screams were coming from. His mom, dad and siblings were sitting with Andre's parents. Even they called him out as he walked. He felt a twinge of happiness seeing Andre's parents proud of him as well. 

"Andre Kriegman."

Cal looked toward the stage as Andre seemed to glide across, just as confident as Cal was trying to put-on. Cal could hear the hollering and cheers for his friend coming from their families. Cal hoped Andre could hear them, too. 

After sitting down, Cal turned his head to him and pointed quietly to the area where their families were sitting. Letting him know, just in case he didn't.

Andre found his mom and gave her a little wave, trying to not draw attention to himself.

They all stood once everyone received their diplomas and turned the tassels together. Another dumb thing Andre chalks up to being ceremonial. The band begins to play the graduating song the class of 2001 picked out as people flung their caps high into the air. Andre didn't throw his, nor did Cal. The people gathered to watch swarmed onto the field for congratulating and hugs and kisses. Friends all around Andre were hugging and crying. A little part of him wishes he could hug Cal without other people making some off-hand comment. He wouldn't cry like these other pussies, but a hug from a friend is harmless. Either way, when he finds Cal, he doesn't hug him. They walk out of the big heap of people in hopes their families can see them better and get to them quicker so they can leave. 

"Well," Cal started, "high school is over. In a few months, we will leave this shit-hole town and be in sunny California!" He lets out a laugh at Andre's face, which was twisted up into both delight and disgust. 

Cal's parents hug him tightly, his little brother clinging onto his gown and his sister hugging his waist. They threw all kinds of congratulations at him and he seemed to soak it in. He was smiling and noticeably more happy than before in the auditorium. 

Andre's parents hug him tightly. His German father speaking in German about how handsome and good he looks. Cal could hear him respond in German, but he doesn't know what he says. He always begged Andre to teach him some cool phrases, but Andre hated when he bought up the fact he had immigrant parents. Cal didn't understand why, but never pressed about it anymore.

Cal's family reaches Andre and hugs him as well, spewing the same happiness about him as they did to Cal. Andre felt comfortable with the Gabriel's. Eric hugged Andre's legs and smiled up at him with missing teeth.

"Woah! Did you lose another one?" Andre asks Cal's little brother, excitedly.

"Yes! This one," Eric mumble back, pointing at the new hole in his gums.

"That's great man! I'm proud," Andre pats his back.

Cal watches, smiling and beaming. 

"You boys ready to go?" Cal's mom asks. They both nod.

The families walk back towards the school and stop at Andre's car. Him and Cal take off their hot gowns and toss them in the back seat.

"We will meet everyone at Olive Garden," Cal's mom cups his head in her hand and kisses his forehead.

"Be safe driving, Andre," his father calls out to him n his thick accent as Andre gets in the car. Andre gives him a nod and starts the car when Cal get in.

Once in the quiet car, Cal turns the volume back up to his Marilyn Manson CD. Andre instinctively goes to turn it down, but Cal catches him by the wrist.

"Who gives a shit now, man? We're done with this bullshit school!" He gives a 'whoop!' and turns it louder while rolling his window down. Andre rolls his window down as well.

As a last Fuck You, they stick their middle fingers out of the car to cars passing them on the way out, even flipping off the building itself. 

Andre lets out a hearty laugh as Cal's blond hair goes crazy with wind flowing through it. Cal joins him in laughing.

The home stretch of senior year was over. They have no reason to return or ever be around those people again. It felt like a load off both of the boys shoulders. They could start over in college. Find people in California that actually likes them and their interests. Their was endless possibilities when it came to California. 

Even Andre was coming around to the fact that even though it was the state of celebs and plastic millionaires, he would be by Cal's side. They would at least have each other.

As Andre drove to the other side of the city, music blaring and Cal headbanging in the passenger seat, he started to soak in the fact that for the next four years, it would be him and Cal.

Him and Cal in California.  
Him and Cal in their own world on the coast.  
Him and Cal.


	2. Ready, Set

Andre parked next to his parent's family car and sighed after turning the car off. 

"What's wrong?" Cal asked attentively, staring out of the passenger side window at the van.

"I don't know, man. Do you _really_ wanna spend our first hour after graduation eating 'all-you-can-eat pasta and bread-sticks'?"

Cal let out a slight chuckle before realizing Andre was being serious.

"Yeah, it's not like we have anything better to do," the blond one rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's get this over with."

Cal's mother waved them over to their table they had reserved for at least a month for the "special occasion".

Maddy, Eric and Cal's mom on one side.

Andre's mom, dad and Cal's dad on the other.

The pair glanced at each other and quietly decided to sit in front of one another.

Cal's mom tossed his tangled blond locks as he sat next to her, "how are you feeling, graduate?"

"No different," he commented.

Cal and Andre's dads were talking instinctively about something he couldn't make out over the noise of the restaurant.

"Hello everyone, my name is Anna. I'll be your waiter today. What can I get everyone to drink?"

Anna seemed to be only, maybe, a year older than Cal. His mom took notice of this fairly quickly.

The group ordered their drinks and Cal's mom nudged him on the shoulder with hers.

"Did you see her? She's adorable, Calvin. You should get her number!"

Cal just sat silently staring down at his napkin. He raised his eyes to meet Andre's, who was watching Cal. He didn't have any emotions on his face, which Cal noted as odd. 

"I like her hair," Cal's little sister commented.

Cal sighed to himself as Anna returned with a big round tray holding everyone's drinkings.

"You know," Cal heard his mother's voice from beside him, "my son here, Calvin, just graduated high school!"

He wanted to sink into the floor again. Wishing he was invisible and not here.

"Oh! Congratulations! Iroquois High?" Anna turned her attention to Cal.

"Yeah. And it's Cal."

Anna nodded, "nice to meet you."

He didn't answer back and she took the hint.

"Does everyone know what they are having today?"

Cal watched as everyone placed their orders and Andre's tight lips formed a little smirk.

Andre's mom broke the silence between the group, "are you guys doing anything tonight?"

"Actually, we might go to this kick-ass rager," Andre answered, to which Cal smiled and laughed to himself.

"A what?" Andre's dad questioned from a few seats away.

"A rager, you know, like a party. Yeah, we're gonna do a bunch of drugs and get drunk and pass out in a ditch."

Cal looked down at his salad as he heard his dad laugh.

"No, we were just gonna drive around for a bit," Cal answered in return.

The pair watched each other from across the table and when the food arrived, the group shared stories of their sons and families.

Cal and Andre listened, occasionally joining in the conversations, but mostly eating and talking between each other.

It was usually like this. The world goes on around them but they were always in their own little world. Sometimes participating in the casual communications from other humans, but mostly enjoying their private conversations. Like their own language, they knew what the other was thinking, sometimes feeling. They liked it this way.

After eating, the group joined in the parking lot in front of Andre's car and continued their small talk.

"Alright, thank you for the dinner, Mr. Gabriel," Andre shook his hand, "we should get going."

Andre hugged Cal's mom and let his little brother hug his waist.

"I'll see you at home," Cal told his parents as he opened the door to Andre's car.

"Okay, be careful guys."

With that, Andre and Cal got in the car and took off out of the parking lot.

Andre drove in no particular direction. Neither one of them knew what to do or where they should go. There's really nothing to do in Connecticut. But neither one of them wanted to go home or leave each other just yet. So for now they were going to drive around until it got dark it seemed.

Cal's phone in the backseat began to ring and he started to ignore it until Andre told him to answer it.

He leaned back and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cal?" Rachel's voice came from the speakers and Andre instinctively rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you, maybe, wanted to come to a party...?"

Cal looked over at Andre, "uh, i'm with Andre. We were just going to-"

"You can bring him, too. If you want to come, it's at the graveyard tonight."

Andre looked over to Cal and shook his head, no.

"Yeah, i'll let you know," Cal answered and hung up.

"Fuck no, Cal," Andre insisted.

"Come on, I know you don't like Rachel, but her friends were at least somewhat nice when I went to prom with them. This could be our only chance at a real high school party. To be accepted."

Andre's mind raced with thoughts of how much cooler Cal was than him. Hell, he got invited to a party. Andre never did and he wondered if Cal has ever turned down other invitations.

"I don't want to be accepted by them, Cal. I don't give a shit about any of them assholes."

"Yeah, Andre, I know. BUT we can go and hang out together and get drunk!"

Andre sighed and glanced over at his best friend, who was eagerly waiting for an answer.

"Fine," he answered through gritted teeth, "we can go for a bit."

Cal smiled and Andre smiled back, not helping it. Cal reached over and turned on the Radio to full volume and rolled his window down.


	3. Graveyard Feelings

As the sun was setting, Andre drove to the town's graveyard. Cal was humming along to the music that was quietly coming through the speakers and tapping his foot.

As they approached the gate, Cal turned the music off and watched as they crept through and found a group of cars on the other side of the hill, hidden from the street's view. Andre parked and cut the car off.

"Not too late to back out," he sighed.

"Come on, grumpy," Cal laughed as he got out of the car.

Rachel walked over, her long brown hair flowing behind her and she was wearing a cute red tank top and jeans. She was really pretty. Prettier than Anna, the waitress. 

"I'm glad you could make it!" She hugged Cal and saw Andre walk up from his car, "You brought Andre with you. Great!"

Cal looked back to Andre and shrugged his shoulders.

The three of them walked to the big group of teens. They were playing music through a radio someone brought with them and some girls were dancing, (on someone grave).

"Cal!" Greg called out, he shook Cal's hand when he got close, "This must be Andre. Nice to meet you."

Andre nodded and looked around. Somewhere deep down, he feels like this is a bad idea. He was waiting for others to jump out of the woods and beat the shit out of him and Cal. He always kept a guard up, even when Cal let his down. His shield was big enough to protect them both, he thought. 

"Have a drink," Rachel offered Cal. Cal took it and sat on a gravestone. He began to sip it slowly, his first beer.

"Andre?" Rachel handed him a drink, but he shook his head. He was taken the occasionally drink before, but not tonight.

"I'm driving."

Rachel smiled and nodded, "oh, okay! More for us!"

Andre rolled his eyes. Yeah, he was a teenager, but he wasn't stupid or irresponsible. He knew better. He doesn't want to kill himself or Cal on the way home before college. College was going to be their 'get out of jail free card'.

Cal was talking to some guy that Andre didn't know, and assumed it was someone Cal went to prom with. He took a seat on the ground, not on someone grave at least.

The dancing girls were noticeably drunk and already out of their minds, maybe on drugs? Like the others, Andre didn't recognize them. Hell, he didn't know half of his graduating class. He and Cal were loners, or so he thought.

After an hour and three more beers, Rachel and Cal were dancing together. Others were joining in when the song changed on the radio. Andre stayed put on the cold ground and watched the debauchery soaked teenagers from a sober perspective. Cal draped his heavy, drunken arms around Rachel's waist and they danced together.

after a few minutes, Andre tore his eyes away to pick at the grass and debated on if he should get drunk as well, just to escape this Hell he was stuck in.

After the song, Cal stumbled over to Andre and sat with him.

"Come on, man. Just _try_ to be sociable. They aren't that bad," Cal's breath smelled of cheap beer that one of the guys probably bribed an older brother to buy for him.

"I'm fine, Cal. Go have fun. I'm having fun," he lied.

"No, you're not. Do you want to leave?"

Andre's brain begged him to say yes, but he knew that Cal was enjoying himself, so he said no.

Cal got back up and a guy Cal introduced earlier named Josh, handed him a drink. Josh planted a sloppy kiss on another guy. Cal said he was gay. Andre looked down at the ground again.

A cute girl that was dancing in the crowd sat beside Andre.

"Hello, you seem lonely."

Andre rolled his eyes. He doesn't have enough patience to deal with a drunk teenage girl.

"I'm not," Andre insisted.

"Come on. You're sitting over here all by yourself and not talking to anyone. Well, Cal, but he doesn't count."

What was that supposed to mean. Andre was about to stick up for Cal after that comment but the pretty blond kept talking.

"You guys are always together, right? Do you ever get time to yourself?"

She wrapped her finger around a piece of grass and looked up to him with pretty blue doe eyes.

Andre let out a breath and closed his eyes, "yeah."

"Huh, maybe I can occupy some of that time of yours...?" She gently touched Andre's leg and he tensed up.

His body was slowly growing hot and he watched her rub her pretty finger on his jeans. Her nails were a deep shade of red and had some kind of print of them he couldn't make out in the dark.

Was this a joke? His brain began to race again and waited for the 'stupid, Kriegman, no girl wants to fuck you' to come out of her mouth.

But it never did.

She took his face in her hands and he let her. She planted a gentle kiss on his lips and his face felt like it was on fire. She pulled away but held him close to her.

Cal watched from his seat on Mr. Kurmay's gravestone. His head hanging low and through blurry vision saw his best friend kiss a girl. He looked at his feet and his hair fell in front of his face. He felt sick. He wanted to go home now.

Around eleven, the crowd was down to only a handful of people. Cal sat on the ground, another beer in his hand, against the gravestone. He was noticeably not in the same hyper mood from an hour ago. He hadn't talked to Andre since he kissed that girl and decided against bringing it up after she got up and left Andre alone again.

"I'll see you soon, Cal," Rachel's voice was soft as she said her goodbye, "Get home safe."

"Are you ready to go, Cal?" Andre asked once Rachel left.

He helped his friend get up and walked him to his car. He sat him down in the passenger seat and shut the door. He walked over to his side and got behind the wheel.

Before he got the chance to turn the car on, Cal's drunken voice came form beside him.

"Who was that girl?"

"What girl?" Andre turned to look at Cal, his blond hair in every direction and his eyes half lidded.

"The girl you kissed!" Cal yelled out.

Andre was taken aback from Cal yelling at him, only to realize he's drunk and needs to sleep.

"I have no clue. She was trying to put the moves on me, but I didn't want anything to do with it," Andre answered.

"Why did you kiss her?" His voice was softer now and he leaned against the door. Andre leaned over and pulled the seat belt over Cal and buckled it in place.

"She kissed me, Cal. And I don't know. She was drunk and probably high."

He started the car and turned the radio on on low volume. Cal sat slumped over against the door with his eyes closed and quiet the whole ride.

"You're crashing at my place tonight. I can't take you home like this."

Cal didn't object, as Andre knew he wouldn't.

Once at his house, Andre helped Cal out of the car, grabbed Cal's phone and into the house. Once in his room, he shut the door and helped Cal get into his bed.

Andre sent a quick text to Cal's mom through Cal's phone to let her know where he was. She replied with the usual 'okay' and he put the phone on charge.

Cal tossed and turned in the bed sheets.

"I feel sick," Cal announced.

"Shit, okay. Hang on."

Andre helped Cal out of bed and into his bathroom. They sat on the floor next to the toilet together. This was new.

Cal leaned over and threw up everything he had eaten and Andre offered to hold his hair, but Cal pushed him away every time.

He felt helpless, he shouldn't have let Cal talk him into going to that stupid party in the first place. They could've been playing video games and eating ten o'clock pizza rolls and laughing at dumb YouTube videos by now.

Cal leaned himself against the bathtub and coughed a few times.

"Do you feel better?" Andre joked.

Cal smiled and nodded, "yeah."

They sat there, quietly and Andre made sure Cal wasn't going to throw up again.

"I'm sorry," Cal said abruptly.

"For?"

"Dragging out to the party. I know you didn't have fun."

"Yeah, but you did."

Cal bit the inside of his cheek.

"Can I borrow some toothpaste?"

"Yes, please," Andre laughed and helped Cal get up off the floor. Cal used his toothbrush he left over here years ago and brushed his teeth.

Andre found Cal some clothes and tossed them to him.

"Thanks, man."

Cal changed while Andre went to go get him a glass of water.

When he came back, Cal was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, crying.

"What's wrong?" Andre approached him carefully and set the glass of water down on the table beside the bed.

"I don't know. I'm okay."

Andre didn't know what to do or say.. He's only seen Cal cry once, maybe twice. He sat beside him quietly.

Cal looked up at him from under his hair and touched Andre's hand gently.

Andre watched him closely, afraid he might be telling him he has to throw up again.

"You kissed that girl tonight."

Andre looked confused and Cal elaborated.

"You let a random girl kiss you."

Andre shook his head, "Yeah, and you got drunk." He laughed.

"No, you don't get it," Cal said quietly before continuing, "Where am I sleeping?"

Andre got up and told him he can have the bed tonight.

"I'm gonna be right here. If you need to vomit again, wake me up."

Andre took a pillow and blanket off the bed and tossed it on the floor. He began to change his clothes and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He racked his brain what the fuck Cal was talking about, but settled on the fact that his friend was drunk and probably amazed Andre got kissed. Even he was surprised. When he came out of the bathroom, Cal was sleeping off the five beers in his bed.

Andre laid down on the floor and thought about the blond girl. How close Cal and Rachel were dancing together and enjoying being friends. Were they as close as him and Cal? Had they kissed before? It doesn't matter, so Andre turned over and tried to go to sleep.


	4. He Said

The next morning, Mrs. Kriegman made breakfast for everyone. Andre had managed to slip Cal to Ibuprofen his headache. Andre drove him back to his house after breakfast. Neither one of them really saying anything. Cal didn't sing along to the rock station on in the car or roll down his window. Andre knew something was up, more than just the hangover was on his mind. 

Andre pulled in front of Cal's house and Cal grabbed his gown, cap and phone from the backseat. 

"Thanks," was all he said before getting out of the car. He closed the door before Andre could reply or ask him what's wrong.

He sat there, watching Cal enter the house and get greeted by Eric at the door, toy in hand, probably asking Cal to play with him.

Once the door was closed, Andre pulled away and drove back home, a quick drive.

Once in his own room, Cal shut his door and tossed his graduation garbs on the chair. He landed backward onto his bed and checked his phone. A text from Rachel read: "Had fun. Hope to see you before you leave for Cali!"

He didn't reply, but laid the phone side him on the bed.

A knock at his door made him jump a little before seeing his mom step into the room.

"Hey, honey. How was your night?" Her voice was calming and gentle as usual.

He faked a smile and told her a lie about how him and Andre went to the lake in town and back to his house to play video games until they fell asleep.

She smiled, "I am glad you two will have each other in California. I don't think you could make it out there on your own, as much as I would like to believe you could be independent. I know Andre is like the big brother you never had. I know he will watch out for you."

He tried not to laugh or cry at the sentimental comment. She was right, Andre always watches out for him.

"You boys getting into anything today?"

Cal shook his head, "I don't know."

After she left the room, Cal broke down.

He wasn't sure why he was crying. He guesses he feels a little guilty about not saying much to Andre about helping him out last night.

He collected himself enough to call his best friend.

"Hello?" Andre's mom answered the house phone.

"Hey, it's Cal. Is Andre home yet?"

"Oh, yes, honey. Hang on. Andre!"

After a few moments another line picked up and Andre's mom hung up.

"Hello?" Andre's voice was quiet and calm, as usual.

"Hey," Cal answered.

It was quiet for a few moments, Cal figured Andre was about to tell him off. For what, he wasn't sure. But he felt that he had every right to.

"Are you okay?" Andre asked.

Cal looked down at his hands and sighed, "yeah. Just a little confused, I guess."

"About?"

"Last night. I don't really remember much, other than throwing up."

Andre laughed, which was either a good or bad sign.

"You berated me over the fact some girl kissed me, brushed your teeth and knocked out before I could finished getting ready for bed."

Cal laughed and sighed, "Sorry. I guess I was surprised a girl kissed your antisocial ass at a party."

Andre huffed out a breath, "I never thought I would hear that, but I guess you're right. I was just as surprised."

"Who even was that chick?"

"I have no clue, man. She didn't even introduce herself to me."

Andre decided to push Cal for answers about Rachel.

"Did Rachel introduce herself before you guys kissed? Is that a girl thing?"

Cal's laugh surprised Andre, "I've never kissed Rachel, man."

"Really? Not even prom night?"

"Nope," Cal answered honestly. "I don't like Rachel like that. Plus I think she likes Greg. We're just friends."

Andre took a minute to understand and nodded, "Oh, I just thought-"

"I'm sorry. I should thank you for taking care of me last night."

"Of fucking course. I mean who else would have?" Andre smiled.

"You want to go out later?"

"Sure, man. I'll pick you up after five."

They hung up without another word. Cal decided to text Rachel back and ask her if she knew the blond girl. Rachel identified her as Allison, a close friend. Somehow knowing her name made him feel worse.

The summer went by quick. They had every day together and unlimited pizza rolls and video games nights. Cal's dad even bought Cal and Andre tickets to see Marilyn Manson when he came close to town. Andre wasn't really a fan but he went with Cal anyways and ended up loving every moment of it. They went camping with Cal's family and stayed at the Kriegman's summer home on the lake for a week.

They began packing a week before they were due to leave for California. Cal even went to hang out with Rachel at the graveyard. They spent an hour talking and walking around making fun of the names on the gravestones before saying goodbye to each other. Cal promised he would visit her whenever he got to come back home.

The last week of being in Connecticut was like a dream come true. The night before leaving, Cal and Andre egged Brad Huff's house and hid out in the trees to watch him come out of the house and get mad at no one in particular. Their last fuck you.

The morning of the flight felt like a day they've waited for for years.


	5. California Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> University of California is buzzing with excitement and new opportunities for Cal and Andre.

Cal and Andre drove separately with their families to the airport, which angered Andre a little. But he knows that he will be flying with Cal for about four hours by plane, so he settles for the quiet and boring car ride with his parents.

Cal sat excitedly bouncing his knee in the backseat with his younger siblings. Maddy was too busy playing with her Nintendo to pay much attention to the drive, while Eric attentively asked questions about things their dad drove by. Cal was too in his own head about the new adventure, knowing Andre was only a couple cars away from his and probably just as excited as he was. Cal's parents played Pearl Jam songs the whole way, Cal singing the way he did in Andre's car on Graduation Day.

Meanwhile, Andre sat quietly in the backseat of his own Honda while his father drove, following a few cars behind Cal's dad. He sat among his suitcases and things he packed for his dorm room. If everything was as going to plan, him and Cal would be sharing their dorm room together during their first year. Andre secretly held his fingers crossed.

Cal and Andre's dad's parked their cars in the airport parking lot. Both families piling out and starting to pull suitcases out of cars and onto pavement.

"Are you ready?" Cal asked Andre rather nervously. He knows he is ready to get out of Connecticut and start a new life, but is Andre just as ready? He understands that Andre is only coming to California for him, even if he didn't explicitly say he did.

"Hell yes," Andre replied unlocking the handle on his suitcase and pulling it into position to roll. 

The two families walked into the airport and stood together at the terminals. Cal's mom's eyes were watery although she was smiling brightly. Her oldest was going to college, albeit across the country at that. She rubbed his hair and soothed the blond tangles down, calming either Cal or herself, she didn't know. She pulled him in close and breathed in hard, smelling the family brand of laundry detergent she uses on his clothes. "I love you, be safe. Let me know when you land, okay?"

"Of course, mom," Cal held her back tightly.

Cal's dad hugged him just was tightly and pat his back harshly.

"We will see you soon, son," he said in a goofy voice that used to make Cal laugh when he was as young as Eric. Eric and Maddy hugged his waist and he told them to be good. They hesitatingly agreed, of course. 

Meanwhile, Andre hugged his mom tightly and she held her hand against the back of his head. She kissed his cheek as he pulled away. His father, as stern as always, shook Andre's hand.

"Be good out there. Don't get into trouble and let us know when you are settled in, okay?" His thick German accent ever present and laced in his words. Andre nodded.

Cal turned around to hug Mrs. Kriegman and thank her for everything shes done when Andre hugs the Gabriel's. Cal shakes Andre's dad's hand and he pats Cal on the back. Maddy and Eric hug Andre as tightly as they had Cal. A welcome surprise to Andre.

Cal and Andre eventual hear their plane is now loading. They gather their suitcases and begin to walk away from their saddened parents. They get in line for the nice-looking middle aged woman to check their tickets and stand quietly next to each other.

"Too late to back out?" Cal jokes. He lets out a little breathy laugh that Andre soaks in. He missed that laugh sometimes. In school, you rarely heard Cal laugh, the only exceptions came when they were hanging out and enjoying their time together as friends do.

Andre laughed and nodded, "I think so."

The woman checked their tickets and they walked through a tunnel to get to the plane. They let the baggage handlers take their big suitcases to store under the plane and kept their smaller ones for carry-ons. They boarded the plane and another woman was helping people find their correct seats.

"Ah, you two are row 20, on the left," she said handing back their tickets. "Enjoy your flight."

Cal flashed a polite smile and began walking through the aisles to get to where she pointed, Andre following closely behind.

"I'm window seat! Beat that bitch!" Cal wiggled his eyebrows and smiled big. Andre rolled his eyes.

"Hand me your bag," Andre held out his hand.

"Wait, I need something first."

Andre waited as people scooted by him to get to their seats. Cal pulled out a cassette player and a few tapes he packed to listen to music. He's never flew before and his nerves were on edge to say the least. Andre chuckled when he pulled out a pair of headphones, presumably for them to share, if Andre wanted.

He finally handed the back to Andre and the older one stuffed their carry-ons into a cubby above their heads.

They sat down, Cal at the window and Andre tucked closely to his side in the seat next to him. They waited until all the announcements and emergency procedures were over to turn on the cassette player. Metallica poured through the headphones. Andre tucked on into his left ear and Cal's into his right. Andre sat back comfortably in his seat, Cal however, was rocking his knee up and down anxiously. 

When turbulence hit as they took off, Cal whimpered lightly and shut his eyes tightly. Andre, trying his best, took Cal's hand in his and squeezed. A show of solidarity. 

"It's okay, Cal," Andre soothed to him quietly. While Cal has never flown or been out of Connecticut, Andre has flown a couple times before. He knows what to expect in flight, trying to show Cal that everything is normal and nothing is wrong.

When the plane levels off and there is no sign of danger to Cal anymore, Andre drops Cal's hand. Secretly looking around for any prying eyes that might have seen the kind gesture. When he found no one paying attention, he was able to be comfortable again.

By the time they finished the Master of Puppets album, the flight was almost over. Cal had fallen sleep soundly in his seat, leaning against the window. Andre dug through the other albums Cal brought with him to find weird, "girly emo music". Finally he settled on Antichrist Superstar to spite himself. He remembers the night over summer when he and Cal went to see Marilyn Manson in concert. It was an amazing day of eating fast food on the way there and jumping in the crowd along to the music. Cal singing loudly beside him and Andre began to understand why Cal liked the music he did. Playing the songs on the cassette made Andre remember every little detail; like Cal's Manson shirt, his blond locks tangled in sweat as they drove back home, hearing Cal sing more on the drive, the windows down and Cal's feet on his dashboard. 

Another hour passed and the pilot said they were beginning to land. Andre woke up Cal, who looked shocked and scared before remembering where he was.

"We are getting ready to land, put your seat belt back on," Andre whispered. Cal does as Andre says and Andre turns off the cassette player, holding it tightly in his hand.

"Can you...?" Cal begins to ask when turbulence hits and jostles the plane a little. Andre seems to know what he's asking for and slides his hands over Cal's. When it gets a little too scary, Cal squeezes instead.

When the plane lands and they announce they can begin departing the plane, Andre gets up first and get their bags. Cal stuffs his cassette player and tapes into his bag again and follows the ling of people off of the plane. They find their luggage in the pick-up area and walk out of the airport.

California is buzzing with life all around. People were walking with conviction and heads held high, walking with purpose. Cal glanced over to Andre who seemed to pick up the new feeling, too.

"Do you have the address to the university?" Cal asked as they stood there on the sidewalk. People rushing around them in all directions.

"Yeah," Andre felt someone brush past his shoulder and knock him back a bit. "Maybe we should move somewhere else."

As they walked, Andre opened a zipper in his bag. They took a seat on a nearby bench while Andre read the directions to himself. Cal was soaking in the new sun and sky, the rolling hills in the distance, the warmth. 

"We should get a cab," Andre proposes. Cal thinks it's a good idea, too.

A line of cabs were waiting for being coming out of the airport and parking to let people out.

"Come on," Andre got back up and Cal followed in closely, pulling his suitcase close to his feet.

They found on empty one and Andre asked the driver if he could take them to the campus. He agreed and got out to load their suitcases in the trunk. They both got in the backseat and Cal was starting to call his mom.

"Hey, mom," Cal started, "we are in a cab on the way to the campus."

Andre couldn't hear her side of the conversation but Cal was smiling into the phone.

"I will. I love you, too."

Cal hung up and Andre told the driver where to go. Some dumb pop song was playing quietly on the radio as they rode along. It was quiet between the two in the backseat, neither one of them was willing to bring up the slight hand holding on the plane. It was to help Cal, Andre thought, so there was nothing to talk about.

After about a 20 minute drive, the driver parked at the campus student parking lot. Students were crawling on the lawn and sidewalks, some with suitcases and papers in their hands, groups of teens talking among themselves. All of them were sun-kissed and beautiful. They were all dressed in summer clothes in this California heat, something Cal and Andre were slightly under-prepared for. 

They got out and Andre paid the driver with some of the money his father had given him for the trip and "spending money" on whatever else he may have needed during his first semester. They gathered their luggage and followed signs to the check-in.

"Welcome to the University of California! Can I have your name please?" A nice looking young man asked Andre when it was their turn.

"Andre Kriegman."

"And you, sir?"

"Calvin Gabriel."

The man through the packets in alphabetical order and pulled two out, handing them to Cal and Andre.

"These are your papers for the first semester. They outlined your classes and where they are located on campus, along with your dorm rooms. It also outlines programs and opportunities we offer here."

Cal and Andre instinctively flip through to the page for their dorm rooms.

Of course, they are rooming together. It just keeps getting better. 

Cal thanks the man with a smile and tells Andre they should look for their dorm. They walk along the people, buzzing with excitement and nerves. They walk past of group of girls who giggle loudly together before talking to Cal.

"Hey, I'm Anna," one holds her hand out for Cal to shake.

"Cal."

"Uh, I like your shirt, Cal," she said pointing to the Pearl Jam album cover. She tucks a black strand of hair behind her ear and smiles sweetly.

"Thank you. I like your earring."

It was a three barred cross, black stainless steel.

"Thanks," she smiled at Andre.

"Oh, this is Andre," Cal introduced.

She shook Andre's hand politely.

"Nice to meet you, too. Maybe i'll see you two around."

Cal nodded and kept walking to the dorms.

"She was pretty, Cal," Andre muttered as they opened the doors to a giant building.

"Yeah, she was okay," Cal answered pushing the button on the elevator. The doors opened and they got inside. Andre pressed the fifth level button and decided not to talk about her again. If Cal wasn't talking about her flirting, then neither was he. 

They find their room and Cal unlocks the door with a key card in his packet. Inside was a small room with a tiny kitchen and bathroom. It was good enough. Neither one of them had ever lived on their own, let alone thousands of miles away. But now all they have is each other.

Cal picks the bed on the right by setting his things there. Andre follows and sits on his bed on the left. He flips through the packet and find there is going to be a track and field try-out tomorrow. Maybe something other than being with Cal is worth coming to California for. 

"Hey, I think I'm going to try out for track and field here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, man. It seems like something good to do. What about you? Gonna join some pansy art club?"

Cal rolled his eyes while Andre laughed.

"Call your mom, dick."

Cal was right, he needed to call his mom. While Cal unpacked his things and set up his side how he wanted, Andre dialed his mom.

"Hey," he said when she answered.

"Yeah, we are in our dorms...Yeah we got a dorm together...I think I'll try out for track here. Yeah, okay. Tell dad I called. Love you."

He hung up and set his phone on the desk on his side. He went back to reading the packet, mostly looking for something entertaining to do while he spent the first semester here.

Soon enough, he joined Cal in decorating the room. Cal hung posters and put his clothes away while Andre rearranged some of the few pieces of furniture to make more room in the small concrete room. The walls were painfully white and bright from the window overlooking one of the beautiful and meticulously green, plush yards.

"Do you think you'll like it here?" Cal asks putting away some small trinkets and things from home.

"You're here," Andre answers honestly and a little sentimental.

Cal doesn't turn it into a joke about Andre being "soft", instead he lets the comment sink in.

Their classes would start in two days, neither one of them to excited about still having to do school work, but still excited they were now adults on their own. It saddened Cal they wouldn't be in the same classes, but at least sharing a dorm would feel endless sleepover nights like in middle and high school. 

Cal would be getting his BA in graphic design while Andre was getting his BA in computer science.

"Maybe you should change majors and not be a pansy artist," Andre picks. Cal shoves him in the shoulder as he passes by playfully.

"We should get a mini fridge," Cal offers.

"Hell. Yes. We need to grocery shop, too. I'm not eating fast food the whole time or nasty school food again."

Cal nods, "let's do it."


	6. Food for the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal and Andre set out to shop and enjoy their last day free of school before it starts.

Cal's alarm clock goes off around 10am. He reaches a long arm to his table and snoozes it by banging his hand harshly on the plastic. When he sits up and looks over to Andre, he notices Andre isn't in bed next to him. Before calling out for him, he hears the door to the bathroom open up. Andre creeps out quietly with a damp towel wrapped around his waist lazily.

When he catches Cal watching him, he decides to speak to distract him away from gazing at his chest.

"Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"Oh, no," Cal looks away. "My alarm went off. What time did you get up?" Cal got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans. He pulled his shirt gracefully over his head and tossed it back on the bed. Shirtless, they stood back to back in the middle of the room getting dressed.

"Around nine," Andre answers simply.

"Wanna go shopping?"

"Yeah, man."

They finish getting ready. Andre picks up his key card and follows Cal out to the front of the building. They look at a map for a convenient store close by and are happy to find one located a little ways off campus. They start walking, enjoying the California sun beating down on them from above and the warmth it's more than happy to give. They make little conversation about high school before Cal brings up Rachel's friend.

"So, remember that girl you kissed at the graveyard?"

"Not really, why?"

"Oh, her name is Allison."

"How do you know that?"

Cal didn't really want to answer that question, feeling a little embarrassed that he asked Rachel about her. He didn't know what he was thinking when he questioned Rachel a few months ago. His brain replays one of the only things he can remember about that night. Her touching Andre's knee in the grass, his lips against hers. It makes him feel just as sick now as it did then. Remembering how Andre offered to hold his hair back as he threw up in his bathroom. A gesture boyfriends do for their girls. He shook it off.

"What time is the try-outs?" Cal changes the subject.

"12, which means we should hurry," Andre said, watching his feet as he walked along the sidewalk.

They reached the store and walked through the aisles, picking up snacks and going through the refrigerated sections for meals they could make. Neither one of them knew how to cook properly, but now they would be forced to learn on their own. One thing Cal learned was how to wash clothes before leaving, so he offered to be the one to wash their dirty laundry in the communal laundry room in the dorm's basement.

They paid for the food and carried the bags back to the dorm room. They passed by an open door on their floor. A male teenager sat on his bed alone in the room, picking at his bass guitar. He saw Cal and flashed a nice smile. Cal couldn't help but blush a little. The boy looked back down at his fingers, his dark hair falling over his eyes again. 

In their room, Cal put the snacks and meals away in the small cabinets.

"Where could we find a mini fridge?" Andre asked sitting in one of the desk chairs.

"Maybe a Walmart? Home Depot?"

Andre guessed it was a dumb question when Cal didn't say much else. What was up with him today?

"I'll look for one while you're at the try outs. I don't want you to miss it," Cal finally says.

"Okay," was all Andre could say before Cal closed himself in the bathroom.

Around 11:45, Andre knocked on the bathroom door where Cal was showering.

"I'm heading out. I'll be back later. Save me some hot water, asshole!" He called out. After hearing Cal's laugh from the shower, he gathered his athletic gear he packed just in case. He left Cal alone in the dorm.

After the shower Cal felt a lot better. The morning sleep was gone from his eyes and he felt awake. The sweat gone from walking to the store. He put a new outfit on. One he he felt rather confident in, but one that Andre pokes fun at.

It was a KMFDM shirt from the album Adios, a black pair of skinny jeans and his wallet in his back pocket; a chain attached to one belt loop to his wallet. He pulled on a pair of Army issued black boots and headed out to find a Walmart or Home Depot. 

He passed by the same boy in his dorm, still strumming away. He noticed Cal again passing by, this time alone.

"Hey," he called out, getting up and standing in his doorway.

Cal turned around and saw him closer than before. His hair was a dark shade of brown, he had freckle above his lip like Marilyn Monroe. His ears were gauged, something Cal always wanted to do but couldn't. His eyes were almost as blue as Cal's.

"Yeah?" Cal asked, stepping closer to the door to hear him.

"Uh, you like KMFDM?" He asked sweetly.

"Yeah," Cal smiled back.

"Me too. I have some of their albums here, if you ever wanted to borrow them."

It was a kind gesture and he had forgotten to pack them to bring with him. He didn't have all of them anyways.

"Oh, that would be cool," Cal answered.

"Where are you headed?"

"To somewhere with a mini fridge. Do you know where I could get one?"

The boy laughed and Cal felt dumb.

"Yeah, I got mine yesterday from Home Depot. It's not far from here. I could show you."

Cal nodded to the offer.

"Come in, I gotta put some shoes on," the boy disappeared back into his room and Cal followed behind. His room was darker, facing away from the bright grass and sun at this time. He had posters on his wall like Cal did, of bands Cal has heard and some he hasn't. The boy sat on his desk chair and pulled on Vans over socked feet.

"I'm Alex," he extended his hand and Cal shook it.

"Calvin, but everyone just calls me Cal."

"Who were you walking with yesterday?" Oh, so he did see Cal pass by.

"Oh, my best friend, Andre. We were lucky enough to get a dorm together this year."

"Where are you from, Cal?"

"Connecticut."

"Huh, that's cool," Alex stood up and grabbed his key card. They walked out and he shut the door behind them.

"What about you?" Cal asked, curiously.

"Cali, originally."

"California is very beautiful. I've never been out of Connecticut before until yesterday."

They began walking to the elevators, Alex pushing the button for Cal.

"I guess," Alex started, "What is your major?"

"Oh, graphic design."

"What about your friend?"

"Computer science. What are you here for?"

"Music engineering. I have a band with some guys from another dorm."

"What kind of music do you play?" Cal asked as they stepped out into the lobby.

"Industrial, of course," Alex laughed. Cal was taken back by the sound of it. It was different from Andre's, one that he was used to.

"That's awesome. I wish I could play an instrument. I can only pick at my sitar."

"I'm sure you're good at it," Alex complimented, looking at Cal. "I'm gonna call a cab."

Alex picked up the telephone on the wall and called a local taxi company that was located off campus a few miles. Cal leaned his back against the wall as Alex called. After he hung up he offered Cal a drink. They walked over to the vending machine in the lobby. Cal asked for a Dr. Pepper and Alex paid two dollars into the slot, getting a Pepsi for himself.

They walked back over to the doors and took a seat on one of the benches on the grass. Cal stared up at the sky, feeling overwhelmed by the heat and buzzing California vibe. He wondered is Andre was looking up at the sky as well. He hoped try outs were going in Andre's favor. He had been on the high school track team, but even being an athlete didn't stop the bullying or name-calling. Andre and Cal were never going to be apart of their status-quo. They didn't really want to be anyways.

After a few more minutes and a few sips of soda, the cab pulled up against the sidewalk.

"That's us!" Alex cheered. Cal followed him to the cab and slid in next to him. Alex told the man their destination and they buckled in. The ride was completely unlike Cal and Andre's to the college yesterday. This cab ride was filed with random conversations and laughter. They ask the driver to stay until they come out, which he agrees to. After getting to Home Depot, they walked around looking at all the displays and furniture, marveling at prices and making jokes between each other.

Alex picked out the one the had in his room already and it's surprisingly cheap.

"I'll help you," Alex says when he notices Cal struggling a little to pick it up alone. Alex helps him set it back down and heads to find a cart. Wen he returns, Cal was sitting on the floor laughing to himself.

"What?" Alex joins him in laughing, pushing the cart to the shelf.

"Nothing, I'm just weak," Cal laughs harder.

"I doubt that you're weak. You look like you got some muscles under your shirt," Alex points out. Cal blushes and lets his hair fall on his face as he gets up. Alex helps him load the mini fridge onto the cart and pushes it to the check out. Cal pulls out his wallet and pays for it in the cash his father had given him, like Andre. Alex watches Cal's nervous hands.

They push the cart out to the cab and put it in the trunk. The driver starts heading back to campus.

"Why do you shake?" Alex asks quietly.

"Oh," Cal's voice was soft and low, "I don't really know."

Alex touches his fingers against Cal's gently. A new gesture.

"It's okay."

As quickly as his finger came, they left.

They talked more about Connecticut on the way back to the dorms. Cal telling him what their high school was like and surprisingly, Alex had had the same experience. Alex talked about getting bullied from being different and picked on worse for being gay.

Cal was taken back by the comment that didn't seem to hold much weight to Alex. Alex was gay. Cal nodded politely, trying to seem like he understood. But he knew well enough.

Arriving at the dorms, Alex paid the driver for his troubles, which Cal tried to deny.

"No, Cal. I'm paying," Alex dismissed, "the least I could do."

The carried the mini fridge back to Cal's dorm. Alex held the box while Cal unlocked the door. Inside it was cool than the outside heat, which came as a welcome feeling to both of the boys dressed in black and jeans. Alex sat on Andre's desk chair and helped Cal unbox the fridge. He even helped Cal hook it up properly, something he wouldn't have been able to do on his own.

"I like your room," Alex said as he leaned back after the job. He sipped on his Pepsi a little.

"Thanks. I wish it wasn't in the way of the morning sun, though."

Cal untied his boot and tossed them on the floor at the bottom of his bed.

"Hey, my band is playing a gig tomorrow night for the first day of school. You should come, Cal. You can bring your friend," Alex offered.

"Yeah? That would be great," Cal smiled, his blond locks in a mess from the slight ocean breeze and slight sweat. Alex smiled back and said he should get back to practicing in his room. Cal showed him out and thanked him for his helping. Alex scribbled the club address on a piece of Cal's school papers. His writing was mostly scratchy like Cal's. As the Cal opened the door, Andre was unlocking it.

"Oh, hey, man."

"Hey," Cal smiled, "Uh, this is Alex. He helped me get our mini fridge."

Cal extended his arms in a wide gesture for Andre to see the mini fridge hooked up. Andre nodded and looked over Alex one time.

"Thanks, man."

"No problem. I'll hopefully see you tomorrow, Cal," Alex said as he walked out of the room and disappeared behind the wall. Cal closed the door behind Andre.

Andre was red-cheeked and sweaty. His shirt was wet and clung to his taunt muscles under his shirt.

"How was practice?" Cal asked as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

Andre perked up and let a wide smile come over his face, "I'm in!" He cheered.

Cal 'whooped' and congratulated him. Andre went on to say he had the fastest record of everyone that tried out, something he was proud of.

After they calmed down and only Andre's slight panting was being heard, Andre said something about Cal's outfit.

Of course.

"You look like a goth chick on her way to a Marilyn Manson concert."

The Marilyn Manson concert was the only thing he could compare the outfit to, despite it being a completely different band on Cal's shirt.

Cal rolled his eyes and sighed. Andre laughed and grabbed his shoulders.

"You know I'm joking, Cal. I'm gonna shower...again," Andre announced. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed back into the bathroom for the second time today.

Cal laid on his bed a few minutes, listening to the shower spray from the other room. He decided he was finally hungry and checked the kitchen for the snacks they had gotten earlier. He picked out a microwavable dinner and cooked it while waiting against the counter. He pulled himself up to sit on it as Andre came out of the bathroom. He was clothed and is hair was wet, clinging to his face in some places. Andre really was a pretty boy. Somewhere deep down, Cal knew that already. Even Andre made comments to Cal offhandedly about how pretty Cal was. Two pretty boys.

"Hey, Alex invited us to a gig his band is playing in a club tomorrow night. Feel like coming?" Cal asked, his socked feet dangling inches above the floor. Andre used the towel to dry his hair off some.

"I got practice after classes. I'm sorry," Andre wasn't really interested in going if he was honest.

"Oh," Cal's small, soft-spoken voice was heard before the beeping on the microwave.


	7. Black Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal and Andre's first day is uneventful and all Cal can think about is hearing Alex's band.

Cal's alarm wakes both of them up the next morning. Andre groans and stretches under his sheets.

"Fuck!" He manages to yell as he sits up. Cal sleepily gets up and gets dressed. He barely brushes his hair in the bathroom mirror, completely uncaring about how he looks today. The first day of many to come and he wasn't excited.

Last night, Andre seemed irritated about everything Cal offered for them to do, turning down going out and exploring. Cal chalked it up to Andre being nervous about his first day. Whatever. Andre hustled into the bathroom and stood next to Cal, both of them brushing their teeth in silence. Was deciding to room with Andre a bad idea? Would them being together 24/7 bring about the end of their friendship? He didn't want it to. He spit his worries out and into the sink.

They walked out of the big dorm room building and into the morning sun. Now they were both irritated they picked morning classes, but hoped that would give them more time together in the afternoons. They walked to the same building that held their first classes. At some point they had to split off, Cal telling Andre he would see him after classes. Andre nodded and repeated him. 

Their first class was boring, as predicted. The other classes followed suit. Mostly all of them were going over the lesson plans for each class and how the school year was going to go. Andre had someone in his class he knew at least. A guy named James tried out for track with Andre and they had talked during try outs some. They talked even more during their class together about the first meet and practice. James was second best to Andre and he felt like James could be competition. Friends close, enemies closer.

After several hours, Cal stood outside of their door building waiting for Andre. When Andre finally arrived, he was walking with James. They were talking about something Cal couldn't hear.

"Hey," Andre acknowledged Cal. "Uh, James this is Cal."

James nodded and said hello to Cal who repeated him. Despite the heat, James was wearing his track and field jacket they had all gotten for getting in. Cal wanted to cringe at the sight of it, remembering all the jocks and assholes who used to wear those and shove him into lockers or call him degrading names in high school. Wearing the jacket in the heat was a sign of trying to show others he was better. Something Cal already despised about James.

"Yeah," Andre said to James. Cal must have not been listening. "I'll see you at practice."

James started walking towards another building as Cal and Andre went inside theirs.

"He seems like a dick," Cal commented once inside their room.

Andre sighed, "See Cal. This is what we were trying to get away from by being here. James is actually pretty nice and easy going, not a dick like those high schoolers."

He seemed defensive but Cal didn't take offence. He could have his own opinion that weren't Andre's. Andre gathered his track gear as Cal sat on the kitchen counter.

"Have fun tonight, Cal," Andre said. It sounded sincere. So Cal took it as that.

"Yeah. I'll try. Have fun running until your feet like they are going to fall off," Cal laughed. Andre smiled for the first time today, but Cal wasn't counting of course.

As he passed by, Andre touched Cal's knee and told him don't be out too late tonight.

"I won't," Cal replied before Andre closed the door.

Realizing he had a couple of hours to kill before tonight, Cal set off to go sit outside in the sun. Most of the students took to studying, reading and talking anywhere but their dorm rooms. Even in the plush grass and in the heat.

Cal grabbed one of his books from his graphic design class and his notebook. He got his key card and headed downstairs.

The sun felt immaculate on his skin and he breathed in the sweet, salty smell of a nearby beach. Maybe him and Andre could visit a beach while they are here. He took a seat under a tree that was unoccupied and opened his book. He began scribbling down some notes, even though he wasn't sure what he should study in the book. Just trying to occupy himself with the time he had before the night.

Around ten minutes later, Anna from the other day approached him. She sat quietly next to him and leaned against the tree.

"Hey," Cal breathed.

"Hey. I told you I'd see you around," she flashed a pretty, bright Californian smile.

"Are you stalking me?" Cal joked.

"Of course...not," she laughed. "What are you writing?"

"Some little notes from my textbook. Trying to waste some time," he answered.

Anna leaned over and pointed to a little doodle on the page of his notebook.

"What's that?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Cal tried to hide it with his hand.

"No, it's beautiful. You're really god at drawing. I wish I was. Who is it meant to be?"

"Just a random face," Cal lied. The doodle was of Alex's face; gauges and bright smile and his black choker necklace. 

"He's handsome."

Cal nodded, "Thanks."

"Can you draw me?" Anna raised her eyebrows playfully.

Cal laughed and nodded yes. He turned to face her and turned to another page in his notebook. He began sketching the outlines of her features. They sat quietly together in comfortable silence as Cal drew. After 10 minutes, Cal turned the notebook to her. Her expression was one of amazement and Cal felt proud.

"It's beautiful, Cal!" She took the notebook in her hands and smiled bigger. "You even got my dumb freckles right."

"They're not dumb," Cal rolled his eyes.

"Can I have it?" She asked quietly.

"Sure, of course."

Cal tore the page out of his notebook and underneath was a big portrait of Andre he had doodled in one of his classes earlier. 

"Oh, is this the guy you were with?" She questioned.

"Yeah, Andre."

"Your drawing does him justice, Cal."

He wasn't sure if she was calling Andre ugly or his drawing good. He didn't say anything about it, just a "thanks".

"I gotta get ready to go to practice," she announced.

"What practice?"

"I'm on the cheerleading team," she stuck out her tongue in a throw up expression. "My friend roped me into it."

Cal laughed and wished her luck.

"Maybe we can go for coffee one morning...?"

"Sure," Cal answered. Was coffee something a lot of people here were into? He had drank much of it in his life. It was bitter but different tastes for different coasts, he guessed. She stood up, brushing off her pants and told Cal goodbye. He watched her disappear to another building and turned back to his textbook.

It was starting to get darker outside so he picked up his things and headed back to his room. Andre still wasn't in from practice so he decided to shower in case Andre got home and needed it. 

Once out, he re-brushed his hair better this time and changed his clothes. He checked the club name as he pulled o his shoes. It was almost time to be there so he hurried out of the room, grabbing the key on the way out again. He called a cab from the lobby like Alex had done. When it arrived Cal gave him the club name and the driver started towards the destination. Cal watched the scenery as he rode along. They went across a bridge and the water was dark blue and glistening in the setting sun. 

They arrived and Cal paid the kind man for driving him, slipping him a tip. The club was bumping music and he went to the door. The bouncer asked her his ID. He didn't have a drivers license but had gotten a identification card before coming to California. He showed the bouncer and he big man marked on X on Cal's hand to show he was underage and wasn't allowed to get alcohol. He let Cal by and opened the doors.

The music got louder with each step he took. He walked through the crowd and found Alex with some other guys next to the stage getting ready.

"Hey!" Alex saw Cal and pulled him into a brief hug. "Cal this is Andrew, Jackson and Davis!" 

Cal nodded at them and said hellos. 

"Where is your friend?" Alex asked.

"Oh, he had practice today. He couldn't make it," Cal's voice was barely loud enough to get over the clubs music, but Alex seemed to hear him perfectly.

"That's shit. But hey, we're gonna have a good time anyways," he smiled. "We are getting ready to get on. I'll find you after the set, okay?"

Cal nodded, "okay!"

Alex's band got ready on stage and the crowd cheered as they piled on the stage. They must know his band. Cal wonders how many times Alex has played in front of people. Alex took the mic to announce the band.

"Hello, UC, we are Black Sheep!"

The crowd roared and girls hollered. Alex put on his bass and stood in front of the mic again.

The band began playing and Alex's sweet singing voice filled Cal's ears from every direction. He was really good. Cal's heart swelled as the music played. He stood with the crowd and suddenly thought of the night of the Marilyn Manson concert with Andre. They had such a great time at the concert alone and wished Andre came with him to this, too. Maybe he would've liked it.

They played a total of 10 songs and even an encore after the crowd of teens chanted for it.

After the last song, the band packed up and Alex found Cal in the crowd. He waved Cal over to the backdoor where they were loading their gear into a truck.

"That was amazing!" Cal said nervously and frazzled.

"Thanks, I thought you would like it."

"Coming Alex?" Andrew asked getting in the truck.

"Yeah! Want a ride back to campus?" Alex offered.

"Sure, thanks."

Cal got into the truck with Alex. Andrew let the radio play some rap song Cal had never heard before and listened as Andrew and Davis rapped along. Alex, Cal and Jackson sat in the backseat. Cal laughing as Alex turned the song and sung along to a KMFDM song, remembering he told Alex he liked them yesterday. It wasn't long before they were back at campus. Everyone got out and Alex asked Cal to carry his pedal board for him back to his room. Cal said of course. The band members all said their goodbyes and Andrew drove the truck to the student parking.

Cal and Alex walked to their building.

"I told you that you had muscles, Cal," Alex said.

"What makes you say that?" Cal laughed.

"You are able to carry that heavy pedal board, duh."

They laughed and made their way into Alex's room. It was close to 11pm by now.

"Want something to drink?" Alex offered as he closed the door behind him. "You can set that down there, it's fine."

Cal sat the case on the floor gently and said sure to Alex's offer. Alex fished through the mini fridge for a Dr. Pepper and handed it to Cal. Cal took a long sip and sat on the desk chair.

"So you liked the set tonight?" Alex asked as he sat on his bed. Cal noticed there was only one bed in his room. Alex caught onto his eyesight.

"Yeah, I did. You guys are really cool and unique."

"I have the room to myself. Apparently they didn't have anyone to room with me so they gave me the RA room," Alex said.

"That's cool."

A part of Cal kind wants his own room to avoid Andre's mood swings right now. It was quiet again before Alex asked another question.

"You think Andre is back at your dorm?"

"I don't know," Cal shrugged, looking at his feet on the floor.

"What's wrong?"

"I...I don't know. Andre's being his weird bipolar self. We've been friends since middle school and have spent pretty much all of our time together since then. Now I'm second guessing rooming with him when he's been in this mood towards me," Cal opened up.

"I'm sorry. Maybe he'll get over it. He seems oppressive. Dark."

"He can be...sometimes. But we rarely conflict, we are kinda similar that way."

Alex nods.

It was weird silence before Alex gets up and stand in his kitchen area.

"Want some food?"

"No, I think I'm okay," Cal answers, smiling to Alex. "Thank you though."

Alex nods and fixes him something to eat. Cal gets up and looking around the room again, looking closer at things but trying not to be nosy. Alex watches him, leaning against the counter.

"You want to borrow those KMFDM albums?"

"Fuck yes," Cal answers excitedly. Alex laughs and fishes them out of his collection. He hands them to Cal and their hands touch.

Neither one of them knows who leans in first, but suddenly they are kissing. They fall into a rhythm quickly before Cal pulls away, looking shocked.

"I'm sorry...I just," Alex says, nervously. His hands in uncertain fists at his side.

"It's okay," Cal lets out a airy laugh.

"I'm sorry, you're not even gay..." Alex waits for Cal to say something.

Cal fidgets where he stands uncomfortably.

"I, uh...I am. Gay, I mean," Cal let the breath he was holding in go. It felt nice to finally say it out loud and to someone he felt he could trust.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah," Cal sighs, "I've always known. I haven't told anyone."

"Not even-"

"Not even Andre. Please don't say anything to him about it," Cal says in a hushed voice.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Alex nods.

They realize they are still standing close and Alex leans in again. Cal kisses him back and with nervous hands, touches Alex's waist.

"Is this okay?" Alex whispers against Cal's lips. Cal nods and kisses him again.

They begin moving to Alex's bed, feet shuffling and Alex lays Cal on his bed gently with Cal clinging to his shoulders. Alex moves on top of him and kisses him gently. Their mouths moving in time with each other. Cal opens his mouth slightly and Alex slinks his tongue in. The feeling is new to Cal, yet he feels drunk off of it. Cal suddenly wants more and more. He kisses Alex back with more confidence and holding his sides tightly. Alex moves his mouth to Cal's neck. Another new feeling for Cal. He moans a little softly in Alex's hair.

"Take off your shirt...?" Cal halfway ways asks. Alex sits up and un-tucks his shirt from his jeans before pulling it over his head. Cal marvels at Alex's body over him. He reaches up to run his fingers over the light colored skin there. Alex smiles to himself. He leans back over Cal and kisses him again. Cal feels hot, even in the coolness of Alex's room.

Cal leans up and pushes Alex up with him. He boldly pulls off his own shirt. Alex giggles a little and kisses Cal's chest. Cal's mouth falls open as if to say something but doesn't. Feeling overwhelmed and uncharacteristically safe at the same time. Was he going too far? When Alex kisses his mouth again, he knows he isn't going far enough.

He nibbles at Alex's bottom lip and soaks in the noise he makes. Both of their bodies are hot to the touch, but neither one cares as their hands venture everywhere on the other.

As Cal lays back on the bed, he notices the time on Alex's clock. He starts to tell Alex he might have to leave when Alex's mouth closes over the stretch of skin on his neck at his pulse point. Cal moans again, words leaving his lips. He doesn't want to leave yet.

"Fuck," Alex moans when Cal grinds up against him instinctively. Cal felt it, too and moaned into Alex's mouth.

"I should get going," Cal finally says when he has the breath to.

"Yeah," Alex replied out of breath.

Alex get up and hands Cal his shirt.

"I don't want Andre getting suspicious... you know," Cal hopes Alex understood.

"I understand," Alex smiles.

Both boys look fucked out and tired. Cal slips on his shirt and grabs his key card from the desk. Alex grabs Cal by his shirt and kisses him deeply again. Cal melts, feeling needed again was perfect.

"We should hang out again soon. Not in a sexual way," Alex laughs, feeling dumb, "just hanging out."

Cal nods and smiles, "I'd like that."

"Goodnight, Cal."

"Goodnight," Cal smiles and opens the door. He closes the door behind him gently and walks down a couple doors to his room. He braces himself for Andre to yell at him for coming in late, but when he opens the door, he finds Andre asleep in his bed. Cal quietly stepped into the room and closed the door. He peeled off his clothes and got into bed as quietly as he could.

The question of coming out to Andre rushes through his brain as he tries to sleep. 

What the worst that could happen? Andre stops being his friend? Yeah, that seems like a plausible thing that he could do. Fuck. Cal turn over in his bed and awakes up Andre.

"When did you get home?"

His best friends voice startles him and tries to act sleepy.

He fakes a yawn, "like an hour ago...?"

"Oh, okay. Night, Cal."

Cal sighs and closes his eyes. He faces the wall again and tries to go to sleep. 


	8. Albums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forgotten gift appears and Andre starts asking questions.

The next morning, Andre is awake before Cal's alarm.

Cal sits up in bed and stretches ungracefully, "morning."

"Morning. I found these at the door when I went for a drink this morning," Andre tosses the KMFDM albums on Cal's bed. "Are those yours?"

"Oh yeah."

"Where did they come from?"

"Uh, Alex. He is letting me borrow them," Cal got up and got dressed, feeling uneasy under Andre's gaze.

"You two friends now?"

Cal wasn't sure is Andre was prying just to turn it into a joke or if he was slightly jealous.

"Um, yeah. How was your meet?" Cal tried changing the subject.

"Great. How was the show last night?"

"Great. They are pretty good. You should've came," Cal feels a little irritated at Andre's line of questioning. He tries to distance himself by going into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Yeah," Andre rolled his eyes to himself, "what are you doing today? Other than class of course?"

"I dunno," Cal answered with a mouthful of foamy toothpaste. "Why?"

"Just wondering if you wanted to do something after class. I heard there is a beach close by."

Cal nodded even though he wasn't sure if Andre could see him. Andre appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, watching Cal in the mirror.

"I know you lied about what time you came in last night. I was awake when you came in, Cal."

Cal froze up, unable to give a good excuse.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting to be out so late. Alex invited me to hang out with his band and we got fast food," Cal lied.

Andre nodded, "Why didn't you just say that?"

Cal spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth.

"I didn't want you to get mad about me coming in late," that was truthful at least.

"I wouldn't have been mad. I just think now that we are on our own we should take responsibility and not be out late and be in class."

Cal nodded and turned around to face Andre, leaning against the sink.

"I know, I agree."

Andre went back into the room and began getting ready for class. Cal decided to let him be. He wasn't in the mood to exactly start a fight. Whatever was going through Andre's mind to make him a little upset must be more than just Cal coming in late. He would ask some other time what was really bothering him. Right now, he has to get to class.

Andre and Cal walked in silence to their building before Andre gave a nod and went his separate way.

Within a couple hours, Cal went back to his dorm alone. No waiting for Andre today, instead he wanted to thank Alex for letting him borrow the albums, or something. He wasn't sure what was pulling him to Alex's door.

Cal knocked softly on the wooden door and after a couple minutes, Alex appeared and let him in with a smile. 

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi. I just wanted to thank you for letting me borrow, uh, the albums," Cal stuttered out, taking a seat on the desk chair.

"You've thanked me plenty, Cal," Alex laughed. "What's up?"

"I, uh, don't really know. I just...I guess I wanted to see you."

Alex bent down to Cal and kissed him softly. Cal sighed into the kiss and let Alex lead the way.

"Do you wanna go out to eat? Or something?" Alex offered.

"Oh, uh. Andre and I were going to the beach, I think."

Alex nodded and Cal stood up.

"Maybe some other time?" Alex smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at Cal. He opened the door for him and kissed him one last time.

"Of course."

"You know where to find me," Alex quipped.

Cal let out a cackle as he walked out of Alex's dorm.

"What's so funny?" Andre said as he turned the corner, stopping next to Cal.

"Hey. Do you still want to go to the beach?" Cal asked, trying to changed the subject.

"Yeah, man. Let me change," Andre said before looking to Alex. "Hey."

"Hello," Alex said and Andre started down the hall to his room. He unlocked it and stepped inside while Alex stole a kiss from Cal.

"I'll see you," Cal said as he followed in Andre's steps to his room.

Andre let Cal inside and Cal started to change clothes. Andre was dressed in a pair of cut off jean shorts that his mom thought would be useful in this weather. Good thinking, mom. Cal wasn't so lucky. He slid on a pair of holey jeans, at least he would get some kind of breeze on his legs this way, and a white t-shirt.

"Are you ready?" Andre asked.

"Should we take a bag...or something?" Cal wondered out-loud.

Andre picked up his bookbag and dumped out the contents. "Get us some towels?"

Cal disappeared into the bathroom and returned with two towels, handing them to Andre who stuffed them in the bag.

"Aren't you worried about getting it all sandy?" Cal laughed.

"Eh. You can wash it when we get back," Andre smiled.

Cal rolled his eyes and grabbed the keys, following Andre out of the dorms and into the elevator.

"Do you know how far the beach is from here?"

"No, but I'm sure the cab driver will know."

Without another word, Cal called for a cab while Andre bought them some sodas from the vending machine in the lobby. They sat outside on the bench while they waited.

"So, Alex, huh?"

"What?" Cal was surprised. He wasn't sure what Andre was asking, or where this was going. He wasn't thrilled to have whatever conversation was coming next.

"You two seem to like each other."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. You've just been hanging out with him a lot."

"You've been at practice. I..I guess he's just cool to hang around."

Andre nodded like he understood, but Cal wasn't so sure if he was even listening. Cal glanced over to the direction where Andre was watching. Anna sat on the grass surrounded by some girls on her cheer-leading team. Cal looked down at his feet, "Anna?"

"Huh?"

"You're looking at Anna, right?"

"Yeah, I think she's pretty. Why?"

"I dunno. I've hung out with her, too. Maybe I could set you two up...or something," Cal wanted to recoil into him self. He doesn't want to set two friends up, but if it would take the heat off of Alex and him, maybe it could work.

"Nah, man. I'm good."

"Your loss. I heard she's a flyer," Cal joked.

"Shut the fuck up," Andre laughed and bumped Cal with his shoulder. "Come on, cab's here."

Andre asked the driver where the local beach was and he said it was about 10 minutes away from campus. Suddenly, Andre thought Cali couldn't get any better. A track team, rooming with Cal and now a close beach? This was like Heaven. Cal sat the bookbag between them and stared out of the window during the drive. Being around Andre was always so comfortable, but now it feels somewhat odd. After coming out to Alex, Cal has turned the idea of telling Andre the truth over and over in his mind. Does he tell him? Does he not? What would happen? Will they still be friends? Cal can't go through four years of college with Andre close by and not being friends. He didn't want to risk whatever may happen if the truth came out. 

The beach was beautiful. The water was crystal blue and bubbling with each wave that crashed on the beach. It wasn't too crowded at this time, which Cal was glad about. He followed Andre on the wooden deck that led from pavement to sand. They sat on the little bench and took off their socks and shoes. As they ran across hot sand, laughter left their lips. Each of them laughing at the other and their reactions. Andre smiled wide and ran off ahead of Cal. Cal eventually caught up at the water line. Cal rolled up his pants and they let the water run over their feet.

Cal closed his eyes and thought about the first time he had been to a beach. His family took a road trip to a beach in Connecticut while his mom was pregnant with Eric. He played in the water for hours before fishing with his dad on the pier.

"Wanna sit on the sand?" Andre said finally.

They fished out the towels from the bag and laid them out on the sand. Both of them sitting down and watching the ocean.

"Do you like your classes this semester?" Cal inquired, playing in the sand next to him.

"They're okay. Not my favorite things in the world, but I gotta do what I gotta do, I guess. What about you?"

"Mine are pretty cool. Luckily, I picked a better major."

"Yeah. Hey," Andre started, "I'm sorry for making fun of your pansy-ass major. I know you like art. You're pretty fucking great at it, man."

Cal smiled and Andre started helping him building the sand.

"Thanks," Cal laughed. It was Andre's dumb apologies that seemed to help him feel a little better in the past when they ever got into a little spat. They made him laugh, but he knew it was good intentions behind the joking. "Are you going to apologize for being a jealous asshole while you're at it?"

"What?" Andre stopped playing in the sand and looked up at Cal. Cal stopped and watched Andre's face turn into one of anger.

"It's just...you've been asking a lot of questions about Alex lately. It seems like you're a bit jealous. I dunno."

"I'm not jealous Cal," Andre spit out.

It was like they were back in high school.

'Go hang out with all of your OTHER friends, Cal!' coming out of Andre's mouth in an argument. Andre hated that Cal could make friends easier than he could. He was a good guy. Why did Cal get all the attention?

"Okay, okay," Cal put his hands up defensively. "I'm sorry."

"Fucking, Christ, Cal. You think I'm jealous over a guy who plays bass in a stupid coffee shop band? You're fucking stupid for thinking so little of me."

Cal looked down at his wet feet and bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't know what to say. He meant the whole thing as a joke, but Andre seemed actually upset.

"Sorry," Cal said again. "I'm gonna go look for, uh, for some ice cream," Cal smiled politely and stood up. He got his shoes out of the bag and got off of the towel. He pulled a piece of hair in front of his face and began walking back towards the wooden deck. Andre sat silently, watching Cal get further away from him. A part of him felt bad for yelling at Cal, but the assumption he was jealous over Alex was stupid. Cal had to have known that, right?

Cal felt a tear sting his cheek as he slipped his shoes back on as he stood on the deck. Andre sighed as he watched Cal walk onto the street alone.

Cal walked around the stores on the street in front of the ocean until he came across a Dairy Queen. Inside the air was cold and refreshing. He ordered a cookie dough blizzard and sat inside eating by himself. It wasn't exactly what he pictured college life to be like. At ends with Andre, coming out, having more than one friend, feelings for someone other than Andre. Everything was new, even eating ice cream by himself. It was something him and Andre would do at two o'clock in the morning after a movie or video game bender in Andre's basement.

Finally, he got up and ordered a chocolate cone for Andre and hoped he would still be at the beach.

When he returned to their spot, he saw Andre laying on his towel and looking at the beautiful blue, clear sky.

"Here," Cal said as he sat down. Andre sat up, surprised Cal was back.

"What's this?"

"Peace offering...?"

Andre chuckled and took the cone. It was starting to melt in the heat and dip on the towel. He ate it as fast as he could, trying not to give himself brain-freeze in the process.

"I'm sorry for getting angry," Andre finally said as he finished off the cone portion.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up. I know you aren't jealous."

Andre nodded. 

They laid in the sun for another twenty minutes before Andre asked if he was ready to get back to the dorms. Cal agreed and they packed their towels in the bag. They were able to catch a cab letting someone out. They talked about Andre's computer analysis class on the way back, Andre announcing he needed to study once they got back to the room for a test tomorrow.

"Already?"

"Yeah, I told you, not my favorite thing in the world," Andre chuckled.

Once inside the dorms, Cal took the bookbag and towel to the buildings laundry room while Andre set out his books and notepad to begin studying. The lighting was terrible and smelled of mildew, but the washer and dryers looked new. Cal muttered something to himself about college as he loaded the towels into the washer and the bookbag into the dryer, hoping that would get rid of some of the sand. He didn't really know.

"Hey there," a familiar voice was heard at the door. Cal turned and saw Alex holding a load of laundry in a basket.

"Hey," Cal smiled.

"How was the beach?"

"It was...okay."

Alex gave a confused look and set the basket down on the table in the middle of the room.

"Just okay? I mean did you even see how beautiful the ocean was?" He laughed.

"Yeah, that part was great. Just...Andre and I got into a little fight. It's okay though. It was my fault."

"I doubt it. It seems like the has a quick temper," Alex said as he started loading laundry into another washing machine.

"He does," Cal answered, leaning on the washer behind him. "I almost told him."

Alex looked at Cal and nodded, "Did you?"

"No, almost."

"What stopped you?"

"I don't know how it going to effect our friendship right now. I don't think I need the stress of a friend leaving me on top of everything else right now."

Alex nodded, understanding.

"It's okay, Cal. You'll know when you are ready to tell him. Don't rush it," Alex's voice was soft and sweet. He closed the lid on the washer and walked over to Cal. He gently cupped Cal's face in his hand before kissing him, threading his fingers into Cal's hair. All of the stress of the day seemed to melt away from Cal's brain.

"Here?" Cal said when they pulled apart. "What if someone walks in?"

Alex hummed and pulled away from Cal. He walked over to the door, locking it and giving Cal a glimpse of his ocean blue eyes. They swam in heat. Alex hurried back over to Cal and swept him up in a heated kiss. Cal's hands touching Alex's waist and holding his body close. Alex tugged on the bottom of Cal's shirt and Cal lifted his arms. His shirt came off with little resistance and Alex kissed his neck, collarbone, chest, anywhere he could see on Cal's body. Cal moaned quietly at the touch. His inhibitions were gone. He felt a million miles away, in a different place from where he stood.

Alex picked Cal up with ease and set him on the washing machine. They continued to kiss, both of them breathing heavy and touching where they could. Cal pulled away to pull off Alex's shirt and toss it on the table. Alex sucked at Cal's chest, a small purple and red stain left behind. Cal would worry about hiding it later, right now he could care less. He's never had someone put so much attention into him like this. Alex pulled Cal off of the washer and Cal instinctively wrapped him legs around Alex. They tangled their tongues together wordlessly and Alex put Cal on the table. It was much lower and more comfortable than the washing machine. He laid Cal back on the wood and kissed down his stomach.

"Uh, can I?" Alex asked, paused above Cal's jeans.

"Fuck yes. Take them off," Cal said wordlessly.

Alex kissed and bit at Cal's hipbone as he unbuttoned and pulled down Cal's pants. Cal arched his back at the cool air hitting his legs and the feeling of Alex's mouth being so close to his dick.

"I don't have a, uh, condom with me," Cal finally said, catching his breath.

"Uh, um," Alex stuttered, "I think I do...if you want to?"

Cal nodded, "yes, please." He needed to get his mind off of whatever he was going through internally. He's never had sex before and felt a little self conscious suddenly.

Alex dug in his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a condom and watched Cal for any sign of denial that may come.

"I've never had sex before," Cal blurted out.

"Oh. Uh, are you sure you want your first time in the basement of a dorm room building?" Alex smiled at the thought.

Cal gave it a thought and nodded, "I think I do." He gave Alex a smile and Alex kissed him again.

Cal leaned up and began to undo Alex's jeans. Everything was speeding through his brain; the argument, Andre's face as he yelled, Alex's lips on his, the heat pooling in his stomach. It was all too much. He pulled Alex's jeans as far down as he could reach. Alex grabbed Cal's hips and pulled him closer to the edge of the table. Cal nervously pulled his underwear off, feeling a little scared about someone seeing his frail body naked. Alex marveled at the sight in the dimly lit room.

"You're beautiful, Cal," Alex's whispered as he kissed him again. Cal felt a little more at ease, even if he didn't believe it himself. Alex pulled down his underwear and slipped a finger into his mouth, sucking on it before laying Cal back down and working him open. Cal's body shook uncontrollably at the new feeling, his breathing erratic and uneven.

Alex slowly worked Cal open on his finger before Cal begged for more. Another slippery finger began to open him up and he moaned and reached for Alex's hand. Something to hold, keep him grounded as he felt like he could slip away any moment.

"Are you okay?" Alex whispered against Cal's skin.

"Yes, more. Please, I want more," Cal moaned out, arching into the feeling and pushing himself down onto Alex.

Alex slipped on the condom and lined himself up with Cal's entrance.

"Are you ready?" Alex asked, watching Cal's face for consent.

"Yes, please. I'm ready," Cal said surely. He nodded to Alex and closed his eyes as Alex entered him. A low groan escaped his lips. This was new, everything was new. He felt drunk, even though he's only been drunk once.

"You okay?" Alex asked against Cal's lips.

"Mmm, yes," Cal moaned out.

Alex gave time for Cal to adjust before moving. His pace was slow and Cal soaked everything in; Alex's breathing, the touches on his hips, Alex's lips, the cold wooden table against his back.

"More, I want more, Alex."

Alex's pace picked up sped and Cal let out a moan that surprised him. Where was this coming from? Alex kissed at Cal's neck as he slid a free hand down Cal's stomach. He began jerking off Cal to the pace of his thrusts and Cal squeezed his eyes shut. He gasped and moaned with every move Alex made. Alex had to kiss him to keep him quiet.

"Mmmm, close. I'm close," Cal whispered out to the air between them. Alex sped up even more and fucked him through his orgasm. It was unlike anything Cal had ever felt before. He swears he felt himself lift off of the table. Alex's breathing was heavy as he kissed Cal. Cal's head was swimming as he came down from his high, deprived of oxygen and fucked out. Cal sat up as Alex pulled out and took Alex's cock in his hand. He jerked off Alex the best he could at this angle and milked him through his orgasm as Alex had done. Alex bit down on Cal's lip as he came and Cal could see stars behind his eyes. They kissed lazily for another minute before Alex pulled away. He pulled off the condom carefully as Cal pulled his boxers and jeans back on. Alex threw the condom in the trashcan and Cal laughed.

"What if someone finds that?"

"You think the college doesn't know teenagers are having sex?" Alex smiled. They got dressed and Cal ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to say.

Alex always seemed to know what to say and he kissed Cal again, "Are you okay?"

Cal nodded, "Yeah. I'm good. Do I say thank you...or?"

Alex laughed and sat on the washing machine.

"You can, if you let me take you out to dinner."

Cal nodded, "Okay. Tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night," Alex repeated.

"Aren't I supposed to sleep with you as payment? We did this backwards," Cal joked.

Alex let out a beautiful laugh and he held Cal's hands, "You can sleep with me anytime."

Cal waited a moment before asking another question.

"Uh, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I like you...and, uh, I don't know how relationships are supposed to go," he paused, "but I like you and I...I want to get to know you better. Better than what just happened," he smiled.

"I understand. You wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Only if you wanna be mine...?"

"I like you, Cal. You're different. A good different. I wanna take you out to dinner," Alex answered. The timer on Cal's washing machine and dryer went off, catching him off guard. He took out the bookbag from the dryer, which seemed a little less full of sand.

"I could finish drying your towels if you want. You could swing by tomorrow before our date and get them," Alex offered.

"Really?"

"Sure, why not."

"Thanks, I should get back to the room anyways. I'm starving and tired."

"I bet," Alex smirked.

Cal blushed and kissed Alex again, "I'll meet you after class...for our date."

"Okay," Alex kissed back and let Cal unlock the door and leave.

Back in the room, Andre was on his bed surrounded by notes and books.

"Where the fuck have you been, man? I'm hungry. Can you fix me something?" Andre asked, face deep in a paper he was reading.

Cal made them dinner and they ate together on the beds. Cal took a shower and let the hot water run over his body. He inspected the hickey Alex left on his chest and felt a little scared that Andre may see it. He pulled a shirt on to sleep in tonight and clean boxers before brushing his teeth. Andre was still studying when he came out.

"I think I'm going to bed," Cal chuckled. "Don't stay up too late, man."

He turned off the light on his side and faced the wall, falling asleep to Andre sighing and the sound of papers being moved.


End file.
